Society, social media, school, friends, family… an overwhelming number of voices (and strong opinions) that our teens digest daily. So, what meaningful messages should we share with our daughters that need to be louder than all the other chatter?
Here are 10 important things a mother should tell her daughter.
Before diving into these important matters, I’m sure we Mommas can agree that teens crave guidance, most importantly, from…YOU! You are their primary role model, their primary teacher. You are their shoulder to cry on when troubles arise.
All of this in addition to the other million bajillion hats you wear right? But this particular hat, or shall we say crown, you get the honor of wearing even if you do make a few teen parenting quote jokes along the way.
This honor though, comes with pretty high stakes and responsibilities.
Table of Contents
Why Share With Our Daughters
Not too long ago, a daughter of mine recently exited her teen years and was finishing her college finals. What she was just shrugging off to be stress from her studies, turned out to be a 5cm mass in her brain. It’s life-altering moments such as these that force you to open your eyes and realize what’s most important. There’s no better time than now to share with your daughter(s) these 10 important messages.
Pro Momma Tip: (and I know this will come as a huge surprise to you), teens are nearly experts at selective listening. Make your words count by intentionally letting your daughter know these important matters. And not just once, but repeatedly!
Tell your daughters these things so often that these words ring in their heads long after you’ve spoken them. I assure you, no teen is going to overdose on being loved too much! What you pour into them, will flow out of them.
Say These 3 Important Words To Your Girls
1. I love you
I know, I know, so obvious. Yet, these three little words can change lives and water the garden inside your daughter’s heart. As you are fully aware, spoken words can be empty or hold minimal value. So it’s the delivery, the intent, the feeling, and the actions behind it that count. You love pizza, you love watching The Bachelor, and you love the beach.
Well isn’t it a completely different kind of love though that you have for your daughter? Keep it genuine, let it touch her soul.
2. I Hope You Dance
Yep, classic Lee Ann Womack song that is packed with beautiful messages that I played for my daughters ALL THE TIME. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey, right? Let your teen daughter know she’s too beautiful and gifted to be a passenger in life and that she can choose to dance her way through this journey.
3. I’m proud of you
A short but paramount thing your daughter needs to hear from you Momma. This is my teenage baby girl’s fav (yes, I just consulted her about this). Make sure she knows you will ALWAYS be there to support her. These words go a loooonng way, but a daughter needs to hear this from their mom.
4. You are not alone
These 4 words are packed with power, especially when chaos, drama, or tragedy strikes your teenage daughter (which it will). Suffering and hurt are inevitable, so reassure your teen that she is never alone in her battles.
5. Have an aim
Jordan Peterson, a Canadian psychologist, author, and media commentator, developed a program called Future Self-Authoring. This makes one expand their mind and opens their eyes to view things from a larger perspective. It’s important to tell your teenage daughter to aim high, you don’t want your daughter to underestimate her potential, to settle, nor do you want to see her walking aimlessly through life. Make sure your teen knows to aim high and pursue whatever dreams have been engraved on her heart, both big and small.
6. Use your voice
Tell your teen that her voice matters. An encouraging word lifts others’ spirits. Have her share things with others, whether it be knowledge, wisdom, or an experience. When she pours out, she’ll have more room to pour into herself. When your teen shares, everyone wins! Also, your daughter should use her voice to both stand up for herself and to advocate for others who can’t.
Statements She Needs To Hear
7. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn
An experience is never lost, never without purpose. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said, ‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’. Show your daughter how to turn their losses to lessons. A win is a win, but a loss offers the opportunity to grow.
8. Believe in yourself and be confident
The key ingredient is self-love. Teaching your teen daughter about the practice of self-care is crucial to her self-love. It provides value, builds self-esteem, and makes her feel beautiful inside and out.
This is a necessity in your teenager’s life (and you too Momma!).
I know there are not enough hours in the day, but anyone can find small moments to practice this. Self-care can be as small as washing and putting lotion in between her toes. Every inch of your daughter, inside and out, needs to be nurtured and attended to.
Impactful Message From A Mother
9. Straighten your crown
Yes, your teen daughter had problems as a child, she has them now as a teen.
She’ll have a whole new set of issues in adulthood. Anyone can spiral down worrying about problems when that time and energy can be used for good in finding solutions.
Acknowledge the problem and tell your teenager to shift her focus to solving the issue.
10. Just be YOU… know yourself, never lose yourself
A mother can’t encourage her daughter enough to be the best that she can be. Tell your teen that her best may look different each day, and that’s okay.
It can be completely draining putting on a mask to act like someone you’re not, just to please a certain crowd. When your daughter’s around those who allow her to be her true self, these are your daughter’s true peeps.
Go now & grab your daughter, hug her, tell her you love her… she’s waiting!